Cure Your Phobia In Ten Minutes

A Quick Phobia Cure

phobia

According to experts, around 15-20% of us will display phobic behaviour or have a particular phobia at some time.  A phobia is defined as an extreme or irrational fear or aversion to something. Some of the most common phobias according to a recent survey, are: Hemophobia (fear of blood), Nyctophobia (fear of darkness), Pteromerhanophobia (fear of flying), Trypanophobia (fear of needles) and Arachnophobia (fear of spiders). A recent survey revealed that younger people were more likely to have a fear of spiders or public speaking where as older people were more likely to have a fear of flying or snakes.

Use Your Imagination

Try this exercise to try and reduce your phobic tendencies. This is a process that originated many years ago but is still used by therapists today. I have personally used this on friends to reduce or in some cases, totally wipe out a phobia. You can either do these steps yourself, or get someone to read them out to you. Really close your eyes and imagine this as vividly as you can. The more real and emotive you make the experience, the more likely it is to work.

 

Step 1. Think of the biggest phobia in your life.

Step 2. Imagine walking into an empty cinema and sitting down about half way back in the middle as if you’re preparing to watch a movie.

Step 3. Although it might be uncomfortable, imagine watching yourself on the screen involved in the particular thing that you are phobic of, for example being on a turbulent flight or encountering a huge Tarantula.

Step 4. Now imagine floating out of your body and up to the projection room.

Step 5. Run the phobia film again but this time, imagine being high up in the projector room, watching yourself watching the screen, therefore disassociating yourself from the film.

Step 6. Near the end of the film, pause it, and make it black and white. Now watch it backwards to the beginning while still watching from above. Now watch it again forwards in black and white. Rewind it at double the speed and fast forward it to the end. All while watching from above.

Step 7. Now step into the actual film and imagine the whole experience at triple the speed both forwards and backwards with carnival or cartoon music playing. (or the Benny Hill theme seems to work quite well!)

Step 8. Now imagine stepping out of the film and sitting back in your original seat and make the whole screen go blank.

Step 9. Repeat steps 5 – 8 a couple of times.

 

That’s It!

Well, that’s it. I hope this was of some use. If it manages to help one person, then it was worth writing. And for those of you who had no luck, don’t forget to check under your bed tonight. There might be a clown or spider there. 😉

 

 

A Fun Memory Test

Facial Recognition

Here is a link to a fun game in which you can test your memory of faces. In this test, you can generate a random “sketched”, comedy face, memorise it and then try and reconstruct it.

You will surprise yourself if you have a few attempts at it and see how quickly you can memorise a face.

http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/java/facemem.html

 

 

 

 

ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH

What is a Psychopath

According to the definition, a psychopath is traditionally defined as a person with a personality disorder, who regularly displays anti-social behaviour, diminished empathy and remorse, as well as unhibited or bold behavior. And who can say we havn’t all displayed several of these traits at one time or another, especially after four bottles of WKD.

Personally, I think psychopaths get a very bad press in general. So here is a quick test to see how you rate. 40 true or false questions, which scientists claim can be reasonably accurate in determining psychopathic tendancies. Just click submit at the end and you’ll get an instant verdict. Good luck.

My score is remaining completely confidential, however, let’s just say I have made an emergency appointment with a therapist.

http://vistriai.com/psychopathtest/

New Legal High Makes Ethereal Claims

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A new legal high that has made its way into England has simultaneously got users “excited out of their brainstores” and authorities more concerned “than they have ever been”. A pill named Neptune is said to raise the bar for legal highs literally up into space. The pill, which comes in a metallic presentation box is said to be fetching upwards of £1000 per pill in certain high end establishments in the west end of London, football dressing rooms and rumour has it, the Houses of Parliament. The pill, streetnamed “Yuri” after famous space cadet Yuri Gagarin is quickly becoming the legal high of choice for celebrities and MPs.

Rick Waller’s Nuts

Over recent years, legal highs have become more popular due to the crackdown on illegal drugs such as cocaine, heroin and extra strong Co-Codamols. Anyone can purchase a legal high online with no questions asked (except name and address for delivery details). Several city centres all around the country are now like ghost towns on a weekend as youngsters prefer to stay at home and “shoot themselves to Palookaville” while taking legal highs. Some are swallowed, some are smoked, some injected and some are so potent they only need to be looked at to cause tremors. Ketamine, Wully Bully and Rick Waller’s Nut Nuts are all found in England’s living rooms. As quickly as the authorities ban them, scientists in eastern laboratories are inventing new ones.

Chinny Cheeseboard

Tested extensively on gibbons and students, the scientists only release them onto the street marketplace if they have a 50% survival rate amongst their “guinea pigs”.Legal highs have caused a whole new wave of street language. Only the other day I heard a supplier on the bus on his mobile phone talking in code:- “I’m off to the factory for the goofballs . I was on the glass last night and I got through a bag of rugby balls but it was schoolboy lemonade. Don’t freeze me out on the dolphins . I got  a chippy on the cheeseboard“. Anyone overhearing this may have thought this guy was talking nonsense, however he was actually describing a sophisticated drugs deal.

Totally Legal

Recent legal highs such as Meeow Meeow,  Instastroke and Alan Carr’s Goggling Bins have easily been available on the streets and online for the price of a pint of lager. However, “Yuri’s” or Neptune, is set to leave all other legal highs trailing in its wake. I spoke to one of the creators of the drug by Skype from Lithuania. He gave his name as “Dr X” and some of his comments were chilling. “We’ve really hit on something with Neptune. The amazing thing about this stuff is that it cannot be banned as it does not contain anything illegal. It only contains natural ingredients mixed with stuff you can find in any shops such as weed killer, petrol and Lynx. Anybody who has the recipe could make it themselves in 5 minutes. We’ve found that mixing certain ingredients with the chemicals, datura stramonium, hydromonadrilloxidemonaminate and salt can access a certain part of the brain that we’ve never accessed before.”

One Dead Student

He went on to explain that Neptune affects a part of the brain scientists refer to as “Blair’s Ballbag”which is the area of the brain which controls time dimension and distance relativity. In an amazing claim, Mr X actually states that this pill can “literally” take you into space. He went on: “Listen, the reason this pill is going to revolutionise drug use as we know it, is that the high is unlike anything else a human has encountered. This makes crack seem like half a pint of light ale in a working man’s club in Dudley being served by a dog of a barmaid. Imagine having the best crystal meth hit ever, combine that with a simultaneous orgasm whilst finding out you have won a triple rollover on the Euromillions and at the same time scoring the winning goal in the last minute of a soccer World Cup Final and then finding out that your wife wants a quick divorce and no maintainance payments. Well multiply that by a trillion and that would seem like a disappointing trip for a Neptune user. This will change humanity. People will retire from work and never leave the house again.”

100% Safe

I asked about the dangers. “Let’s put it this way. Nothing is 100% safe. That’s water, air, anything. People can drop dead at anytime. In testing, we have only lost a handful of small animals and one student, but she had asthma anyway, so who’s to say that wasn’t to blame.” When asked for further details of how this stuff worked, Mr X said cryptically, “What if I told you we had found a way to space travel without ever leaving your sofa“

 

Pills and Policies

A huge underground buzz has now started about Neptune with users frantically trying to get their hands on pills. MP’s, footballers, rock stars and fishmongers are already experiencing it. One well known Premiership London footballer recently didn’t turn up for a training session as he was “still on his way back from Uranus“. I managed to speak to a local MP who was very interested that I was writing an article about Neptune. While he obviously wished to remain nameless, he agreed to be photographed in diguise.

download (1) The MP told me he had first sampled the pill while he was on a “business trip” to Monte Carlo. He told me, “I purchased it for 1500 euros which I claimed back on expenses.  I’ve obviously tried cocaine, meth etc, but this was something else. I never thought I’d get to travel through space. But to be able to do it from my hotel room all at the tax payer’s expense ,was something I’d never thought possible in my lifetime. It is now more popular than prostitutes amongst MP’s. It is cheaper, less risky and a much more mind blowing experience. Some of my colleagues will not make a policy decision until they’ve “stepped on Mars” first.”

While apparently safe, users of Neptune may want to be aware that the time distortion effect can affect different people in different ways. Some users “trips” can last for up to a fortnight at a time while others is less than a nanosecond. It is only a matter of time before the recipe is leaked, the price drops and Neptune is as common as the homeless. In months to come, city centres all over the country will have dealers asking you if you fancy “putting on a space helmet“. What will you say?

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Weird World News

Stringfellow Launches “Pocket Rocket” Underwear Range

This week saw the launch of Peter Stringfellow’s new underwear range in front of an invited audience in London’s Soho. The legendary lothario has released a range of underpants aimed mainly at the over 40′s. The “pocket rocket” range are personally designed by Peter himself and come in a variety of colours including a traditional leopard print and are 75% lycra, 25% polyester and are priced at a very generous £9.99. They will be stocked by several high street stores including Debenhams. The long-haired greaseball spoke at the press launch and said “I’ve always preferred underpants to boxers and there’s definitely a gap in the market for something stylish and practical. You won’t be going home alone with these beauties on”

stringfellow

 

 

Council Blunder Bradford Building

Bradford City Council have been accused of incompetence after their new £200,000 office building seemed to contain several major flaws. Residents have described the office as an “eyesore” resembling something out of a funfair. Council officials however have denied that the building has “gone wrong”, stating, “While we admit that there was a slight miscalculation with the plans and the office is not 100% how it was designed, it is still usable and we will not waste any more public funds in correcting it.” A local resident who did not wish to be named, had no hesitation in blowing the lid off the abhorration. “I know the firm that did it. They are complete cowboys. I once got them in to do my patio and they turned up pissed 3 days running so i sent them on their way“. On hearing that the council had described it as “original”, the resident stormed, “original my arse.”

council

 

1 + 1 = Now Equals 2.3????

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A Norwegian mathematician has revolutionised the world of mathematics by coming up with a new formula to show that 1 + 1 actually equals 2.3.  After years of research, Helmut Schown has discovered a new decimalisation principle that is far too complicated to be explained. However, the principle has been accepted and will be introduced into all European schools from September of 2014. Mr Schown was quoted as saying “I have changed history. And school teachers can piss off”.

The Great Art Theft

kokrot

Notorious Swedish cult artist, Kokrot (pronounced Kokrot), pictured above, has given more ammunition to those who say modern day art is nothing but a huge con trick, through his latest exhibition, Abstract.

The reclusive, obsessively private Stockholm born artist who made news headlines 5 years ago when he give one of his kidneys to his terminally ill baboon live on a Swedish satellite channel, has rarely been sighted in public since then, although he has continued to produce exhibitions. His most famous exhibition to date, was the seminal Child, in which he rented the 5-storey Dolewaller art gallery in Brussels for a full year and left it completely empty aside from a single framed photograph on the 3rd floor of himself as a 4 year old.

Peter Sutcliffe

Kokrot has divided art critics with some proclaiming him to be the Warhol of his generation, while the Observer’s art correspondent described him as the “Peter Sutcliffe” of the art world. The eccentric loner is said to live underground as it is said to help him “piss creativity”. This obviously came in handy in his 2010 work, URheine? where he had a river of urine (said to be all self-produced) flowing through the Stallehalle gallery in Bonn, Germany.

Kokrot came to public attention in 2004 with the audacious exhibition ,Breathe, which featured him standing in a shop window in Paris and breathing on the window for 7 days. He then auctioned his used colostomy bag which sold for £33,000 and caused outrage by shredding the money in a hospital foyer.

Otters

otters

His most controversial plan was a performance piece named Genocide in which he planned to cull a colony of otters one by one with his bare hands, live on webcam, which was only prevented through police intervention.

However, his new work, Abstract, is sure to attract criticism from even his most devoted fans. He is charging 1000 euros to “mentally send” impromptu “thoughtwave” paintings to his buyers. These are in a limited edition of 500 and he states everyone will be completely different. He will only accept cash payments through the post which are to be sent to a secret address that will never be revealed. He will then “think” of a painting and transmit it to the buyer. It is believed that these “thought paintings”could then fetch up to 100,000 euros amongst private collectors.

Living on Sponge

His team of management and publicists are obsessive about keeping any mention of him out of the media or internet. He has staff watching the internet 24 hours a day under orders to remove any mention of him. In fact, i’d be surprised if this blog post lasts more than a couple of days. A recent sacked member of his management team sold his story to the Swedish newspaper Bild. Thomas Fock said “I have worked with many actors, musicians and tv celebrities, but none compare to Kokrot. His ego is as big as a big top. We were not allowed to talk to him, look at him and if we thought of him, we were instantly fined 200 euros which we had to drop through a “money chunnel” into his lair. Some of the noises eminating from that place were blood-curdling and the fumigators were often called in on a daily basis. The guy lives on sponge. You tell me that’s normal? Some might call him a genius, to me he is an asshole. I got to know the guy better than anyone even though i never met him.  He once told me via his intercom that he had been dead for 3 weeks and from now on he would only appear as a hologram.”

Kokrot’s personal and private life are shrouded in mystery. He has previously denied having parents, stating “I am a perception, therefore i am not here”. He has not spoken in public for over 5 years and it is said that he does not intake any fluids as he “doesn’t trust the Government”. His last public appearance caused a stir when he walked down a high street in Gothenburg with a live fox over each shoulder and playing the bagpipes.

Moron

However controversial he is, his work is in great demand with some of his early paintings changing hands amongst art collectors for small fortunes. Confusion frequently reigns however, as Kokrot refuses to sign any of his work, meaning no one ever knows for sure if their piece is an original or not. Kokrot has frequently denied painting, stating that any works in existence “were not by him possibly” and that “paintbrushes are for people with jobs, not artists.” Recently early piece, “Moron“,brought 750,000 euros at auction.

images (6)images (6)

 

What is Art?

Kokrot has stated through a braille release to a Swedish media company that Abstract will be his last work. However, rumours are circulating that he is planning a fashion line as he recently donated this outfit to Italian designer, Inzi Kupord’s latest fashion show:-

 images (9)

One thing is certain, whatever Kokrot plans to do next is sure to push the boundaries of “art”, leaving us to ask the question, “What actually is art?” After closely monitoring Kokrot’s “career”, I would answer, “Anything you can get away with”.

Weird World News

Cowell’s Choppers Cause Pile Up

TV mogul Simon Cowell caused a spot of bother on a weekend break in Jersey when causing a 3 car shunt on a minor road. It is believed that the millionaire was out taking a walk when his shiny nashers reflected against the sun and temporarily blinded an oncoming driver. Although no one was badly injured, one of the drivers suffered slight whiplash. A witness said, “It was a sunny day, and Mr Cowell was walking alongside a road. All of a sudden, he smiled at the bird he was with, the next thing there was a blinding flash when the sun reflected off his dominoes and a car had to brake sharply“. A spokesman for the muti-millionaire said “Simon stayed at the scene to make sure no one was hurt, and made sure everyone got a photograph and autograph“. It is not the first time Cowell’s “Hampstead Heaths”, have caused problems. They have previously temporarily blinded three paparazzi when he was snapped leaving a niteclub in 2008. Unconsiderate Cowell is believed to have no plans to darken his noshers.

cowell teeth car crash

 

No Fire in Norwich

Norfolk County Council have caused both amusement and concern with their recent budgetary cutbacks. In the most serious cost cutting exercise since the mass burial of swine flu victims, the Norwich fire service have been left with one vehicle and one fireman to cover an area of 480 square kilometres.

council cut backs

 

A spokesman for the council said, “We are all feeling the pinch. We appreciate this is not ideal but all public services are taking a hit. However, we firmly believe that one vehicle will be enough to cover the area and no lives will be at risk. The vehicle is supplied with everything a normal fire engine would have, except some of the equipment and speed. Most of the incidents in this area are in fields due to pagan ceremonies and satanic rituals and therefore do not pose any threat to the public. In the last six months we’ve had one case of a kitten stuck in a tree which was brought down by an air rifle and one smoking George Foreman grill, so it’s hardly a hotbed of fire related incidents“. However, the people of Norwich have a very different view. One resident said, “What a load of ********“.

Ohio Woman Evicts Small Pecker

A 38 year old Ohio woman has served an eviction notice on a woodpecker. The small-brained annoying bird said “That woodpecker is getting on my damned nerves“. It is believed the woodpecker moved into the tree 6 months ago and began its ‘pecking antics” immediately. The tree is right outside the bedroom window of the silly bitch. Pretzel Porter who works at Mcdonalds began legal proceedings after repeated telephone calls to the authorities. When no progress was made, she took matters into her own hands and covered the tree trunk in sponge in order to dull the “beak strikes”. However, the persistent critter pecked through the sponge within hours and the knocking continued. As a last resort, Ms Porter decided to go down the legal route. The judge ruled in her favour and the eviction notice has been served. The woodpecker, nicknamed “Woody” has been given six weeks to leave the tree or risk facing the electric nest.

woodpecker eviction

 

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way…………….

Friends and countrymen, lend me your ear as I believe Van Gogh once said. A short tale of a strange incident that happened recently.

beer

Anyone that knows me will know I don’t drive, so I rely on friends, taxis and trains to get me from place to place. So recently a friend had given me a lift to a venue where i was performing. As I was there quite a while, my friend who shall remain nameless for security reasons (social security reasons), was getting a little bit bored sitting at the bar and his intention to just have one pint of lager gave way to his boredom and thirst. And this wasn’t alcohol free lager he was drinking. (As a side note, what is the point of alcohol free lager? Who drinks lager for the taste of it?).

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

Anyway, one pint became two, two became three, three became four.  Unfortunately, it was then time to drive home. At the venue, we had met a guy we know, a proper old character in his 70’s, who lives not far from my friend. Anyway, being the kind hearted guys we are, we offered the gentleman a lift home. At this point I was unaware that my friend (the driver) had consumed four or five pints as he seemed quite lucid. So anyway, the drive home began, with me in the passenger seat and the elderly gentleman in the back. He had asked if we minded if he smoked, we didn’t, so he proceeded to light up and chain smoke. As he was sitting in the back, he was flicking his ash out of the half open back window. Part of the way through the journey, we  needed to stop at a garage for petrol. My friend went out to fill up and had a little bit of trouble with the nozzle (maybe due to the effects of the alcohol). Anyway he managed to fill up, got back in the car when I was hit with a very strong smell of petrol (my favourite smell). Not the normal waft you get at a petrol station, but a much stronger aroma. It turns out he had splashed some petrol onto his shirt sleeve while he was struggling with the nozzle. The journey continued, as did the smoking in the back. By this time we were on the motorway and bearing in mind the alcohol consumption, the driver was doing his very best to be cautious and stay well below the speed limit.

Some Like It Hot

What happened next was quite surreal. The elderly gentleman had flicked more hot ash out of the window, the wind caught it, it blew back into the driver’s window, and all of a sudden, there was smoke coming from his shirt sleeve. I was the first to notice it and as soon as I pointed it out, he started to panic as the smoke was getting worse. But as we were travelling approx 60 mph, he couldn’t immediately stop. He opened his window right down and stuck his right arm out of it (the one that was smoking). At this point his shirt sleeve burst into a flame and our panic became frantic. With his left hand on the steering wheel he began to steer left towards the hard shoulder, while braking and simultaneously frantically thrashing his right arm which was now fully alight out  of the fully open window.

fire

Obviously this was now becoming very painful as anyone who has been on fire will testify. I also noticed the ominous blue light of a police car coming up behind us. Eventually, he managed to get into the hard shoulder and as soon as he stopped, he ripped his still flaming shirt off and threw it out of the car. Just at this point, the police car pulled up behind us. Needless to say that plod was very keen to hear the full story and unfortunately, due to the severity of the incident, my friend was asked to do a breath test.

Blow In the Bag

And what was the outcome you may ask? Well, he was charged. Although strangely, not for drink driving. The charge was……………possession of a firearm.

The Eyes Have It

eyesFollowing on from my previous blog regarding reading people, I’d like to write a little bit about the one part of us that can give so much away silently. Eyes (this would have been the shortest sentence ever if i hadn’t added this bracketed bit). Funnily enough, my “lamps” are not what they were. In fact the last time I was at the opticians, he said, “Have your eyes ever been checked?”. I said, “No, they’ve always been blue”. He went on to say, “Well how far can you see?”. I said, “Well i can see the sun. How far do you want me to see?”. Anyway, enough of the side-splitting hilarity, although i will anectdotalise (new word?) my favourite optician story at the end of this blog.

Soul Windows

I’m sure we are all familiar with the phrase, “the eyes are the windows to the soul”. And while we might not be able to pick up the person’s innermost thoughts, we seem to be born with the ability to pick up people’s moods by looking at their eyes, even without them saying anything. Uncannily, we are aware when we have eye contact with someone even if we are so far away from them that we couldn’t possibly be able to see their eyes in detail. This is demonstrated a lot in football matches where teammates will give each other “the eyes” to let them know where they want a pass to go. This can happen when they are 20 or 30 metres away. We can see if people are angry, happy, upset, worried etc all through their eyes.

Eye Accessing Cues

There is a slight misconception in that a lot of people believe that if someone is telling lies they cannot maintain eye contact. In fact, in a lot of cases, the opposite is true and a number of people will stare straight ahead or maintain eye contact when lying. However, generally our eyes do move in different directions in order to access different parts of the brain. For example if you ask a person to visualise something in their mind, their eyes may move up and to the right. If you ask them to think of a sound, their eyes may move to the left. If you ask them to think of a certain feeling, such as being soaked in a rainstorm, their eyes may move down and to the right. Try it with a friend. Ask them to think of the colour of their front door and watch where their eyes go. Then ask them to think of the sound of a bell ringing and watch their eye movement. Then ask them to think of getting into a red hot bath. If you then ask them to choose just one of those thoughts and think of it again, you should be able to know which one they chose as they will replicate the eye movement they did originally. Thus reading their mind!

Test Yourself

For those of you interested in checking to see how good you are at reading a person’s emotions or mood through their eyes, here is a psychological test. There are 36 pairs of eyes pictured with a choice of four emotions or moods for each one. You have to choose the one which you feel is most closely represented in the eyes. As the test says, don’t think too much about it, just go with your gut instinct. you might be surprised at the results. If you are doing the test, you do need to populate the male/female tick box, but you can leave the “Name” field blank. http://www.glennrowe.net/BaronCohen/Faces/EyesTest.aspx

Anecdote

So how did you do? Modesty forbids me from revealing my score, but between you and me, it was between 31 and 33. Anyway, I’ll finish by recounting my favourite optician story. A friend of mine (who is not the sharpest tool in the box) visited the optician as he felt that one of his eyes had deteriorated quite badly.  The optician told him to cover his right eye and read the chart which was up on the wall. At this point, my friend became confused, as he struggles with the concept of left and right. The optician told him to cover his left eye instead. Again this caused a major problem. Becoming slightly frustrated, the optician decided to make it a bit easier. He had a cereal box on his desk. He emptied the contents into the bin and tore one single eye hole into the front of the box and then placed the box over my friend’s head so his left eye was directly in line with the hole. “What’s that like?” asked the optician. To which my friend replied, “Well……….I was hoping for a gold-rimmed pair like my dad’s”

What is Mind Reading

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A lot of my performance consists of the illusion of “mind reading“. Mind reading was described in Psychology Today magazine as a “seemingly magical ability to map someone’s mental terrain from their words, emotions and body language.” I love this description. When people think of “mind reading”, a lot of people are under the impression that you can see directly into someone’s mind and picture exactly word for word what they are thinking. However, this is not how it works, sadly. Life would be a lot more complicated and i would hazard a guess, be more stressful and violent if this was the case. All those evil thoughts about the boss, your other half, your friends or colleagues would all be entirely visible. As would theirs to you. So let’s be thankful that this will probably never be possible. Although who would have thought 100 years ago we’d have “garlic bread” or One Direction.

Reading Thoughts

So i prefer to describe the whole process as thought reading. Which is what most of us do on a daily basis. And i would venture that most people are better at it than they think. Its just some of us practice a lot more than others. Imagine a couple sitting on a park bench. An attractive girl walks past and the guy on the bench gazes at her and continues gazing at her as she keeps walking. His girlfriend then “kicks off” and starts to give him aggravation of the earhole. Now 99.9% of onlookers would know exactly what the girlfriend is thinking. A policeman holding a riot shield being confronted and taunted by an angry mob. Again, we would all know how the policeman is thinking and feeling. Now believe it or not, there is only a short leap from that, to having a good idea of what a person is thinking when they are emotionless and have a poker face. For example, if you ask someone to think of a happy memory, the chances are they will think of a birthday or the birth of a child. We all fall into patterns and once we know what those patterns are, we can “read them”.

Sensory Acuity

Its all about developing what i like to call “sensory acuity”.  Taking notice of tiny details as well as the obvious ones. Any fans of Sherlock or The Mentalist will be familiar to this (although sadly, the powers of Sherlock and Patrick-Jane are greatly exaggerated for TV purposes ( But then again, so are Dynamo’s). Very few of us realise how much we reveal about ourselves by the way we walk, the clothes we wear, the bags we carry, the jewellery we wear, the newspapers/magazines we read. It is not too difficult to build up a psychological profile of someone just through appearance. Imagine a man sitting in a 1st class train carriage wearing a suit, a Cartier watch and reading The Times. We could quite accurately guess quite a lot about him. The same goes for the guy in the tracksuit coming out of the Job Centre drinking Kestrel Super Strength. Although these are extreme examples, they are not untypical. This is not judging people, this is how we can tune into our “sensory accuity” and start to take in details.

Get Your Head Up

Although appearances can be deceptive, the majority of time they can be very accurate. If you add in extra layers of hearing the person talk, their accent, their general manner, you can build up their profile even more. If you want to get good at this stuff, practice! Try to guess someone’s occupation, if they’re married, have children, hobbies etc. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes and you will be very surprised at how accurate you can be. Look at someone in a public place and try and guess everything about them (but please don’t stare. I learned that the hard way. Although if someone is pre-occupied with their mobile which is 87.5% likely, then it’s quite safe to stare. And if you do get caught, just say Mind Spy said it was ok. You’ll be fine).

 

Next Time: The eyes have it.