Sky Have Seen the Future and It Will Be

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Have you ever been watching a live sporting event on TV when you’ve had to go out unexpectedly, start work or other circumstances have forced you to miss the end? That could be a thing of the past in the not so distant future if Sky have their way.

An astonishing leaked document which has been obtained by the Guardian newspaper reveals the extraordinary technology that Sky are currently experimenting with. The document reveals that Sky are exploring the use of nanotechnology and have recruited two of NASA’s top scientists in their bid to win the war over broadcasting subscriptions.

Secret Laboratory

Sky are planning on releasing a futuristic, “space age” box that will enable viewers to make instant decisions that directly influence the outcome of reality TV shows they are watching at that time, including voice recognition voting. But the most revolutionary and mind-blowing experiments currently undergoing testing at Sky’s secret laboratory in the south of England involve Sky’s ultimate ambition: – to enable the viewer to “fast-forward” through live TV. Sky were the first broadcasters to enable viewers to rewind and pause live TV, but they have made it their mission to be at the forefront of cutting edge technology to leave their rivals trailing in their wake.

Scientists appear to have differing views of the possibility. Dr Heinz Zarkhov, lecturer on sciences at Cambridge University stated “This is not possible – certainly not in our lifetime. The technology involved here would be so advanced that we simply do not have the knowledge of nanotechnology and have neither the equipment or the brainpower.” However, Dr Wilfred Strauss a physics expert and columnist in Technology Today has a slightly differing view. “I have heard these rumours for a while. I would say this is highly unlikely – but not impossible. Our knowledge base is doubling every ten years and nanotechnology is expanding at such an incredible rate, that I wouldn’t rule out time travel within the next twenty years, making this type of technology that Sky are developing to be 1% possible.”

Ogden’s Oboe

Nanotechnology is “the manipulation of matter on an atomic and molecular scale.” Through its National Nanotechnology Initiative, the USA has invested 3.7 billion dollars. The European Union has invested 1.2 billion and Japan 750 million dollars. However, these would seem to be small amounts compared to Sky’s investment. Critics of nanotechnology claim that some experimentation can result in health risks. In fact, Dr Strauss went on to say, “Experiments in this area must be very closely regulated. In some cases, nanotechnology can affect a part of the brain we refer to as “Ogden’s Oboe” which deals with time distortion. We need to do a lot more research before we could open this up to be more accessible to the public

Legalities

Sky seemed determined to prove the doubters wrong and are already in consultation with top legal teams all over the world to discuss and find ways to combat all the possible repercussions of people abusing this technology. For example, a person could easily “fast forward” a live sporting event or lottery draw to find out the final outcome and then place a bet on the result. Sky are believed to be still considering whether to have sporting events available on this service due to all the legal pitfalls. They would have to cover every legal loophole and new laws would have to be introduced to stop people profiting from this service.

Nano Science

It is believed the nanotechnology testing is at such an advanced stage that the Sky developers are regularly being able to see the results of live televised football matches while the game is still taking place by simply “fast forwarding” it through to the end. The leaked document also revealed that during extensive testing during the recent World Snooker Championships, workers at the lab were able to “see” Ronnie O’Sullivan win the final 48 hours before the tournament ended. Despite the doubts from scientists, Sky are planning on having the first “Nano boxes” available by the summer of 2018 and are planned to retail for a wallet busting £7,500. However, over time, the “Nano box” will eventually replace all existing Sky boxes making the space age toy the box of choice for millions of homes all over the country.

Making the Impossible Possible

A Sky insider stated “Sky love being told something is impossible. They’ve been told that many times before. First they were told it was impossible to record two channels at the same time. More recently they were told it was impossible to pause and rewind live TV. If Sky want it, they will spend whatever it takes to make it happen.”

Sky had “no comment” when contacted by a journalist. No one is for sure if this document was leaked intentionally, but one thing is certain, alarm bells will be ringing in the Richard Branson household. My feelings on the possibility of a “Nanobox” are quite clear. Anything that helps me fast forward through the Eurovision Song Contest will be welcome in my flat anytime!

 

One thought on “Sky Have Seen the Future and It Will Be

  1. Howdy! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

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